Divorce is an incredibly challenging experience that often brings intense emotions such as anger, guilt, sadness, and loneliness. While these feelings are natural, they can sometimes lead to mistakes with long-lasting consequences—both financially and emotionally. At Soon Too Bee, we want to help you navigate this difficult time by highlighting some of the most common divorce mistakes and how to avoid them.
Mistake #1: Acting on Anger, Revenge, or Guilt
It’s normal to feel a wide range of emotions during a divorce. However, making decisions based on anger, revenge, or guilt can harm your future. Emotional reactions can lead to choices that may negatively affect you down the road. To ensure your decisions are well thought out, consider seeking guidance from an attorney, therapist, or family counselor. This support can help you approach your divorce with clear, rational thinking.
Mistake #2: Failing to Obtain Quality Legal Advice
While friends or family members might offer well-meaning advice, divorce laws are complex and vary case by case. It is crucial to rely only on qualified legal professionals who are dedicated to your case. At Soon Too Bee, we emphasize the importance of consulting with competent attorneys who understand your rights, financial matters, and the welfare of any children involved. Proper legal counsel is essential to protect your interests throughout the process.
Mistake #3: Accepting a One-Sided Settlement Agreement
Whether you initiated the divorce or are responding to it, never agree to a settlement that heavily favors the other party—especially if it could negatively impact you later. Although you may feel pressured to conclude the process quickly, signing a one-sided agreement can be difficult or even impossible to reverse. At Soon Too Bee, we encourage you to carefully review any settlement offers with your attorney before making decisions.
Mistake #4: Not Checking the Paperwork for Accuracy
While attorneys are professionals, they are still human and can make mistakes. It’s crucial to carefully review any paperwork you sign to ensure it accurately reflects your agreement—especially if the documents were prepared by the opposing attorney. Never sign anything unless you are certain it is a true and precise representation of your settlement.
Mistake #5: Overlooking Tax Implications in Your Settlement Agreement
Divorce settlement agreements often involve dividing marital assets and determining child and spousal support. It’s essential to consider the tax consequences tied to these financial arrangements. This is particularly important if your settlement includes retirement or pension plans. Ignoring potential tax impacts can lead to unexpected financial burdens, such as higher taxes on spousal support or a significant reduction in the value of divided property.
Mistake #6: Failing or Refusing to Communicate with Your Spouse
Effective communication between spouses can lead to more favorable and amicable settlement agreements. Keeping open lines of communication during divorce and settlement negotiations often reduces the need for costly, prolonged court battles.
Mistake #7: Starting to Date Too Soon
One of the most common but risky mistakes during divorce is beginning a new romantic relationship before the divorce is finalized. If you are still legally married, avoid dating anyone until your divorce is complete. A new relationship could be used against you in court, and openly showing a new partner may increase tensions with your spouse, making negotiations more difficult. Additionally, introducing a new person into your children’s lives too early can cause confusion or emotional distress.
Mistake #8: Not Being Completely Honest with Your Attorney
Your attorney can only effectively represent you if they have all the facts. Failing to disclose important details or misleading your attorney about critical aspects of your case puts you at a serious disadvantage and could cause lasting damage to your case. Always be open and honest with your attorney, no matter the issue, to ensure the best possible outcome.
Mistake #9: Not Updating Your Will or Estate Plan After Life Changes
In many states, significant life events—such as divorce—can invalidate previously executed wills. It is crucial to update your will or estate plan after your divorce to ensure that your true wishes are honored. This is especially important if you plan to remarry or experience other major changes in your life.
Mistake #10: Being Unrealistic About Your Post-Divorce Financial Situation
Adjusting from a two-income household to a single income can be challenging. Planning ahead is essential to make this transition smoother. Create a financial plan or budget tailored to your new circumstances, and avoid taking on new debts. Additionally, do not assume that debts from your marriage are automatically paid off. If you and your ex-spouse share any debts, make sure your settlement agreement clearly defines who is responsible for repayment and removes your name from liabilities you are not responsible for, such as mortgages or credit accounts. This protects you from being held accountable for debts that aren’t yours.
Mistake #11: Resuming Intimate Relations with Your Estranged Spouse
It can be challenging to let go of the emotions tied to a long-term marriage. However, Soon Too Bee advises against allowing these feelings to lead you back into an intimate relationship with your estranged spouse during the divorce process. Resuming intimacy too soon may cloud your judgment and cause you to make decisions that are not in your best interest. Only consider resuming intimate relations if both of you mutually agree to reconcile.
Mistake #12: Making Oral Side Agreements with Your Estranged Spouse
Even if your relationship with your spouse remains amicable throughout the divorce, Soon Too Bee cautions against making oral side agreements regarding divorce matters. While it might seem convenient, it’s crucial to have all agreements documented in your written settlement. This protects your interests and ensures clarity. Oral agreements are difficult, if not impossible, to enforce—especially if your written settlement states that it contains the full agreement between both parties.
Mistake #13: Allowing Your Spouse to Convince You Not to Hire an Attorney
Some couples believe that hiring attorneys is unnecessary or that one lawyer can represent both parties effectively. Soon Too Bee stresses that this is a misconception. Do not let your spouse discourage you from hiring your own independent attorney to protect your interests. Failing to secure your own legal counsel may result in agreements that disadvantage you.
Mistake #14: Using Your Children as Pawns or Treating Them as Adults
Divorce impacts children deeply—often even more than adults. Soon Too Bee warns against putting your children in the middle of conflicts or expecting them to act as intermediaries between you and your spouse. Forcing children to fill the emotional or household gaps left by a spouse’s departure can lead to resentment and cause long-term damage to your relationship with them.
Mistake #15: Failing to Take Control of Your Divorce
Remember, this is your divorce. Soon Too Bee emphasizes the importance of maintaining control over the process. Don’t let your attorney, friends, or family members take over decision-making, as they won’t live with the consequences— you will. Stay actively involved and be firm in your decisions to increase the likelihood of a satisfactory outcome.
Final Thoughts
Divorce is an emotionally challenging and complex journey, but being mindful of common mistakes can help you navigate it more effectively. Soon Too Bee encourages you to stay clear-headed, protect your interests with proper legal support, and prioritize the well-being of your children. Most importantly, take ownership of your divorce process to ensure the best possible outcome for your future. Remember, careful planning and thoughtful decisions today can lead to a healthier and more positive tomorrow.
